The No Bells extended cinematic universe reflects on the year.
It’s been a quietly active year here at No Bells HQ – each of us has been sidetracked by other projects but it’s been impossible not to reply to and publish all the great pitches we’ve gotten. Keep them coming in 2026. ♡
To close out 2025, it’s time for another List of Lists – we’re at the fifth edition, which means you could basically make a list ranking every list of list, the ultimate meta mondo-list to end all lists. At this point, it’s hard not to feel like your list will just add to the ever accumulating heap of listless listing that suffocates the web. But even if our list is more noise, at least it’s gleeful noise—no one’s trying to get screengrabbed for X likes or SEO-bait. It’s a bunch of our friends and foes on the fantastical nonsense that defined their year: Aphex Twin spottings, RXK Nephew scamming a canny freelancer, unemployed splurges, and one 255,736 pound bell. —Kieran Press-Reynolds
Maleah Pasasouk’s favorite quotes said by her best friends (ranked by best delivery)
- “Do some Pavlov shit and start gagging when you hear his name”
- “I’m not gonna lie I been using chat GPT to raise my bearded dragon”
- “This the broviet union”
- “I’m in retrospective dickmatized love”
- “I have the maternal instincts of a witch standing over a cradle waiting for the antichrist to be born”
- “Calm luh shit fire mama, you a bad hard-working ting”
- “Keep tanning it’s good practice for when you’re burning in hell”
- “U seem culturally gay”
- “This man is not gold; he’s fucking fool’s gold like that man aint even plated”
- “The delivery was supposed to be ups but it actually gave fed-ex the way I’m fed up with my mf ex”
- “Body is boba”
- “Bitch you Lamedrianne Anker”
- “Am I acting zynester be honest”
- “I’m not saying there’s anything to unpack, I just don’t know if there’s a package at the door…”
- “The only thing growing in 2025 is the horns out of my head”
Top 4 famous people Archie Forde saw (or thinks he saw) in the wild in 2025
- Hugging Aphex Twin in a coffee shop in Soho, London. Cold January Saturday. The kind of cold that makes you want to cover yourself in Deep Heat and get against a radiator until May. This was a time where I was going through a bit of a rough patch, and said something like: “Nothing is going well for me is it?” I was proven wrong promptly when, like divine intervention, I saw a figure that looked exactly like Aphex Twin standing outside a coffee shop (one of the generic Soho ones on that road right after the Supreme store). To his left was a youngish woman with a small dog at her feet. It was all a little surreal, like those videos of botanists finding rare plants in jungles and falling to their knees weeping. He walked into the shop, and I ran after meekly asking, “Are you Richard?” to which he said yes routinely, before asking me if he could order a latte before we spoke. Dear reader, a latte might be Aphex Twin’s coffee of choice. We chatted about music and his profound impact on me and my mates and then I asked him for a photo. He said no, but offered a hug instead. He smelled of fust. Don’t post this on the Aphex Twin subreddit.
- Roger Waters lookalike at Alex G, London. STILL UNSETTLED. Old dude on his own, well heeled and well groomed at Alex G in London. Filming the support act (LA band called Sour Widows) with a new orange iPhone and teethy grin that seldom left his face. I was completely and utterly bemused/besotted by the man that stood next to me, for no other reason than he looked freakishly like Roger Waters. Now reader, I cannot explain why, or how, Roger Waters would be at an Alex G concert on his own, but is it really that inconceivable? Upon further research, I learnt that much of the internet is obsessed with the looseness with which Roger wears his Rolex, so I really zeroed in on that. But the sleeve of his beige chore coat was just covering where the Rolex would be, although I’m not convinced it was there. All roads point to this being Roger Waters but I’m perplexed.
- 2/3 of bar italia at a flat party in East London. One of them was wearing red Puma shoes and smoking weed. Strange vibe, but I probably wasn’t cool enough to be there and just crashed a show that Jezmi had advertised on his socials that turned into a party. Really cool apartment/venue though, plus there’s a Bassvictim song about it!
- Arthur Hill in the queue for Geese at the George Tavern. Overheard lots about a record deal and then he asked me if there was a different entrance for guest list at this tiny pub. There wasn’t.
Raphael Helfand’s top 10 nightmare blunt rotations
Jared Kushner, Andrew Cuomo, Big Justice, coach’s son
Aaron Judge, LeBron James, Tom Brady, Baby Gronk
Bill Maher, Ben Shapiro Tom McDonald, Killer Mike
Condoleezza Rice, Baka Not Nice, Bari Weiss, Paul, Weiss (2 guys)
Emperor Palpatine, Sid from Toy Story, Eye of Sauron, Robert Moses
Fairy Godmother, Prince Charming, Lord Farquaad, JD Vance
Sasquatch, Godzilla, King Kong, Loch Ness, goblin, ghoul, a zombie with no conscience
2hollis, Matt Ox, Nettspend, Kieran Press-Reynolds
My mom, my dad, my grandma, me
Four horsemen of the Apocalypse
Books that Drew Millard obtained and didn’t read in 2025
full disclosure
– “didn’t read” = spent no more than one sitting with the book
– some of these were last year but whatever I didn’t read them this year either
Generation X — Douglas Copeland
friend gave it to me along with When We Cease to Understand the World, got too into that then started reading Gary Indiana’s true crime trilogy and kinda forgot about this one
Depraved Indifference — Gary Indiana
turns out reading all 3 back to back to back is kind of a bummer psychologically, will actually read next year tho
Cubed: A Secret History of the Workplace — Nikil Saval
purchased in post-Zohran mania, still hope me buying it somehow makes him decide to run for mayor in Philly
Paraiah: A Novel — Dan Fesperman
made mistake of taking nyt book review seriously
Filterworld — Kyle Chayka
sorry kyle
On Talking Terms With Dogs: Calming Signals — Turid Rugaad
gf read so I got the gist
Amusing Ourselves to Death — Neil Postman
bought as prop to bring to jury duty (had no effect, still got out of it)
Mickey7 — Edward Ashton
never read a sci-fi novel that’s the basis for a movie you just watched
Imbibe! — David Wondrich
no longer want to quit writing to become a bartender
Antonia Kon’s auspicious signs of 2025
These series of videos by Argentinian artist Sofia Finkel portray the hyperboles and shadows of a girly cosmopolitan life in a way that reminds of the both cynical and sweet whispers from Big City Life, the latest album by the Smerz duo that conquered every top album list. In Finkel’s new work, identity is questioned through the relationship with objects: tiny purses become serial killers, get flooded by Martini or experience damage the same way as flesh does.
Hideaki Anno’s cinema from the 2000s
What I needed as a former weeaboo who nowadays feels unable to connect with the moe slop of new seasonal anime: to revive the crisis I got from my first watch of The End of Evangelion (1997) when I was a preteen. Thank you Ritual (2000), Love & Pop (1888), and an honorable mention to the cutesy lesbian-coded Cutie Honey (2014), that could easily happen inside of Honduran popstar Isabella Lovestory’s artistic universe.
The vocal modulations and bold lyricism of two underground female rappers from Argentina (who are also close friends and collaborators): Hellolola’s bubbly, gyaru Nicki Minaj-esque bars, and Aquafinna’s aggressive and raw style will hopefully reshape the local trap scene with new explorations. At the beginning of their careers, they seem to be sure of it and already label their songs as “certified hoes classics”.
Worshipping cell towers
Worthy successor of Serial Experiments Lain (1998), Ninajirachi’s videoclip for her song “Infohazard” is some kind of proof that shitposting can connect us to spiritual ascension. Virtual life not as an “opposite” of physical life but rather an addition to it, a both traumatizing and transcendental experience. It also reminds me of how the oversaturation of content that the Miró board app allows helped me develop ideas and critical thoughts during the last months.
San José 1111
Messages for ex-president Cristina Kirchner, peronist icon and principal leader of the opposition against our current far-right government, after being unfairly condemned to a six year sentence of house arrest. During the days in which hundreds of supporters showed up to her balcony (where she stood dancing and cheering), this collection of words and drawings kept getting bigger.
Grand Club Icarus in Buenos Aires
Former members of the more mythic than commercially successful K-pop group LOONA, ARTMS recently visited Latin America for their Club Icarus tour. Deriving from the nightlife and resurrection concept of their album, the purpose of this live show is to transform the venue into a nightclub, with a live DJ and EDM remixes of their original songs: ideally more dancing than phone recording. It sounds a bit obvious for Western artists but it’s really not the world of the millimetrically calculated, uptight tradition of Korean idol performances.
Baudelaire as a young boheme writer begging his mother for money
This year Blatt & Ríos published a selection of letters written by the pioneer of modernism during his youth. Big ambitions and low income — just a few payments for articles published in Parisian newspapers — are what moved our beloved tortured poet to dramatically manipulate his mother for more money and a free use of his inheritance. Who can also relate?
Eden DaSilva’s Top 5 Time Loop Movies of 2025
Somewhat directionless slasher. Kind of unique because the protagonist is the killer (reverse Happy Death Day), but overall skippable unless you’re a real time loop head.
4) It Ends
This gets number four mainly because I wouldn’t consider it a true time loop film, but it’s close enough to make the list. Four friends find themselves driving down a never-ending road, and are faced with the decision to keep driving for potentially eternity, or give up and accept their fate.
3) Until Dawn
Apparently this film is based on a video game I haven’t played. Not a true Groundhog Day style time loop with the same events every iteration of the night, but the characters have to survive different waves of monsters throughout the evening and wake up (respawn) every time they’re brutally murdered.
This joins Penalty Loop (2024) in my list of awesome Japanese time loop films I’ve caught at Fantasia Film Festival in Montreal. Loved it. Romance/comedy/sci-fi with a crazy twist at the end.
1) Redux Redux
Just completely unreal. One of the best movies I’ve seen in a long time. Multiverse groundhog day with a vengeful mother hellbent on killing her daughter’s murderer in every existing universe. Can’t wait to watch this one again.
Honorable mentions (haven’t been able to see / not yet generally released but looking forward to):
Megha’s top children books of 2025
I read a lot of picture books this year that made me cry, so I tried to include some fun ones too but then you have to remember the ones that make you cry make it worthwhile and leave you with a feeling of mutual understanding.
A Friend for Lucy by Jen-Ai Molineaux
If You Make a Call on a Banana Phone by Gideon Sterer
Don’t Eat Eustace by Lian Cho
My Brother by Laura Djupvik
Every Monday Mabel by Jashar Awan
P.S. Some children’s graphic novels to note.
– Go-Man: Champion of Earth by Hamish Steele
– Okchundang Candy by Jung-soon Go and Aerin Park
– Crumble by Meredith McClaren and Andrea Bell
Eli Schoop’s favorite things his Constantly Hating readers published
Daisuke Shen in The Baffler
Grace Byron’s debut novel Herculine
Daniel Kolitz’s seminal essay on gooners
Leah Abrams skewering the manosphere
Kitty St-Remy in Hobart Pulp
ock sportello on state censorship of a Hot Boy
Jesie Gaston’s While
Tony Tulathimatte’s Rejection (came out last year but hit european shelves this year, it’s my list)
Samuel Hyland’s treatise on Ariel Pink
Kieran Press-Reynolds’ dissection of phonk
Arielle Gordon and Dan Bejar, together at last
David C. Porter on Charlie Kirk
I love all of you so much. Thank you for blessing my readings, and for being such illustrious friends and haters.
Lee Ritchie’s best fiction of 2025
- Lonely Crowds by Stephanie Wambugu
- Ultramarine by Mariette Navarro
- The Birds by Tarjei Vesaas
- Shadow Ticket by Thomas Pynchon
- Paradise Logic by Sophie Kemp
- The Suicides by Antonio di Benedetto
- Fresh, Green Life by Sebastian Castillo
- Female Loneliness Epidemic by Danielle Chelosky
- The Place of Shells by Mai Ishizawa
- Command Performance by Jean Echenoz
Justin A. Davis’ random archival newspaper quotes he found while researching stories this year (that were too good to just sit on his computer)
Reading archival newspapers is (1) a unique lens into the feelings, hopes, opinions, and reactions of people who might seem infinitely far from us; (2) a fun way to procrastinate on my drafts; and (3) a source of some of the wildest takes and most interesting prose I encounter on a regular basis. Here are some things that have stuck in my brain for one reason or another this year.
“These slippery days remind us that in the midst of life we are in danger of broken bones.”
“Is the so-called baseball diamond a diamond or a square?”
“The acting is hardly prize-winning, the plot is pretty leaky, the dialog occasionally stirs visible cringes in the audience, and the blood spewed by the dozen or more people who get killed looks a lot like model airplane paint.”
“Lamentable inconsistency!”
“If drug dealers tried to operate on checks and electric money transfers, they would doom themselves.”
“…the sleep-collaborator shakes his head sadly…”
“You will not find me so green, I fancy, as some new hands: I am resolved to be deliberate in my aim, and do wonderful feats, to relate when I return to Virginia.”
“Elijah met God in Detroit and God was Black and showed him the way.”
“Personally I have never found dreams very reliable as stepping stones to a bank account. Perhaps I don’t eat the right kind of food.”
“You look ugly when you cough.”
“It just struck me that perhaps, for one man, I have tampered enough with the universe.”
billdifferen’s favorite wrasslin matches of 2025
I don’t know why but I somehow got back into the fucked-up wormhole known as “professional wrasslin’” this year after so many years away from it. Thankfully, it has been a positive return as I’ve discovered loads of great shit already. Here’s 20 of my favorite matches of the year with links included:
1. Mariah May vs Toni Storm – Hollywood Ending Match – AEW Revolution (3/9/25)
2. Jon Moxley vs Hangman Page – Texas Death Match – AEW All in 2025 (7/12/25)
4. Bandido vs Hechicero – ROH Championship Match – ROH Death Before Dishonor (8/29/25)
5. Mistico vs MJF – Title vs Mask – CMLL 92. Aniversario (9/19/25)
8. Hijo de Fishman vs Demus – Zona 23 (3/9/25)
9. Senka Akatsuki vs Aja Kong – Marvelous That’s Women Pro Wrestling (4/17/25)
10. Gabe Kidd vs Kenny Omega – NJPW Wrestle Dynasty (1/5/25)
11. Sareee vs Syrui – Sareee-ISM Chapter VII (3/10/25)
12. Bandido vs Konosuke Takeshita – ROH Championship Match – ROH Supercard of Honor 2025 (7/11/25)
15. KJ Orso vs Sam Stackhouse – I Quit – GCW Boss of All Bosses (7/11/25)
16. Athena vs Mercedes Mone – Owen Hart Tournament Semi Final Match – AEW Dynamite (4/16/25)
17. Jun Akiyama & Zack Sabre Jr. vs. Taichi & Tomohiro Ishii – TAKATaichiMania IV (5/7/25)
18. Yuto-Ice vs Yuya Uemura – NJPW Road to King of Pro Wrestling (10/6/25)
Katherine Oung’s five dive bars in the American South you should visit before you die
* Springwater (Nashville, TN): Tennessee’s oldest continuously operational bar is tucked next to a hot chicken restaurant and the great Centennial Park. It’s an old haunt of legends ranging from David Berman to Kesha. Not to be missed are some of the other runner-ups in Nashville’s dive bar scene: Dino’s and Villager Tavern.
* Pelican to Mars (Baton Rouge, LA): On the East Side of Baton Rouge sits Pelican to Mars. The brightly decorated spot is home to a tiki-bar interior design, movie nights on Tuesdays, and Silent Book Club on Wednesdays.
* College Hill (Greensboro, NC): You’ll always be sure to find a colorful character to chat it up with at College Hill Sundries, situated in Tournament Town, North Carolina. Open since the 1990s, the bar’s vibes have been described by locals as both “immaculate” and “legendary.”
* Pete’s (Jacksonville, FL): This turquoise and pink hangout is located just minutes away from the beach and sells the best bar T-shirt merch in town.
* Lone Star Saloon (Houston, TX): Giddy up and stop by Lone Star Saloon for a hearty Southern meal or one of the bar’s many community events, from live music to Whiskey Wednesday. The bar reopened in 2009 after falling victim to a fire, and continues to chug along to this day.
Kieran Press-Reynolds’ TIWP 2025 (Total Internet Wastedump for Posterity) (a bookmarked best and worst hits, you decide which is which)
I co-parent with ChatGPT — I love turning off my brain and letting AI help raise my child
kyrsive/maxi road’s Pyramid of SoundCloudalist Hegemonic Structure
The NELK Boys Match Wits with Benjamin Netanyahu In Podcast
Safe Sleazy’s Epicurean Art Collective on Jefferson Street
daarkey’s cracked Minecraft gameplay RIP MCPVP
How Well Does PinkPantheress Know Bugs?
the bikes – terrorists are gay (and all of Nathan Barley)
Adam Friedland takes on Harry Sisson
Labubu Street Gang Milk Tea Robbery / Labubu Pride
Mohawkamania Bob’s Osa Mason hairstyle hits the streets
Jay Guapo’s Block Party featuring John Pork, Diddybop, and Tim Cheese, sponsored by Pudgy Penguins
Viral clip of furry assaulting a robot food delivery machine named Jermaine
Marco Rubio’s unseemly glance at Pamela Bondi sparks internal civil war in the White House
Talking Tom doing Bladee karaoke
Jack Riedy’s Best Old Guy Concerts I Attended In 2025
10. Geese
Just kidding! I shoulda bought tickets at the beginning of the year when the primary market was 3D Country fans. Luckily tapers got me for both Thalia Hall shows.
10. Mk.gee
Michael Gordon may be 29 years old, but spiritually his music is the product of a Drakkar Noir bottle’s second marriage to a 6-CD changer.
9. Beck
Ravinia Festival backed by the Chicago Symphony Orchestra. ‘Nuff said.
8. Headhunters
Much like the modern incarnation of P-Funk, the group led by Mike Clark and Bill Summers now contains members that grew up playing along to their records, and those young cats are bringing all their friends out to the show for wine and CBD seltzers, even in the dead of winter.
7. Elvis Costello
Mr. McManus O.B.E. brought an expanded band and his weathered voice to the nightclub environs of Park West and told a charming story of a late ‘70s double bill in Chicago with Tom Petty and the Heartbreakers that did not sell out.
6. TV on the Radio
The setlist was like the eighths I used to buy in college: too heavy on Seeds! Nevertheless, my favorite band of the 2000s still raises hell onstage.
5. David Byrne
David Byrne songs, 1977-1983: life feels like one big supermarket. When I close my eyes, all I see is a dead television channel.
David Byrne songs, 2018-present: some t-shirts have words, some t-shirts have flowers, when I see a shirt I like, I think of it for hours!
4. Herbie Hancock
From the balcony seats of the Symphony Center, it felt like we were listening in on the world’s greatest garage jam. “Rockit,” “Chameleon,” with plenty of time for guitarist Lionel Loueke to unleash some modulated madness, and Herbie even brought out the keytar.
3.. Bob Dylan
Just as the prophecies foretold, he got through two verses before I realized he was playing “Desolation Row.” As the band unfurled their post-industrial blues, I thought about all the history that led Robert Zimmerman from Minnesota to New York City to South Bend, IN on the same day as me, and I understood something deep and secret and true about America. Then we got our phones back out of those damn pouches and I forgot it.
2. Nine Inch Nails
Their idea of playing the hits includes b-stage piano ballads, dance remixes that reinvigorate classic tracks, and singalongs about fucking like animals. Trent Reznor is my model for my own golden years.
1. Stevie Wonder
Did America’s premier saint of pop music “fix our nation’s broken heart” with a rare Midwestern tour last election season? Not exactly! But Stevie still sings like the sun is shining out of his chest, and his show was a near-religious experience with orchestration and production value beyond any megachurch. There were people hugging and crying and video-calling their parents from “My Cherie Amour” to “I Just Called To Say I Love You.”
Elia Brulhart’s favorite tracks by artists who, as of finishing this list, have fewer than 300 followers on SoundCloud and fewer than 100 monthly listeners on Spotify
| Artist | Spotify | Soundcloud | Link |
| B0YG1RL | 44 | 56 | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FxpZFipOVXE&list=LL&index=4 |
| Eef808s | – | 12 | https://soundcloud.com/fbr_eef/drop-it |
| Temir | 17 | 132 | https://soundcloud.com/temiiir/dygha |
| Shaheer | – | 32 | https://soundcloud.com/user-43819291/e404ab1c-a035-412c-b7c5-ca3460e49970 |
| Heather MW | 28 | 46 | https://soundcloud.com/heathermw/band-demo |
| nadia / aidan | – | 41 | https://soundcloud.com/11181970/album-7 |
| Telo Hoy | 41 | 140 | https://soundcloud.com/telohoy/rosebud |
| Trent Miller | – | 44 | https://soundcloud.com/real-sydney/melody |
| KLINISCH | 19 | 81 | https://soundcloud.com/north4/disappear |
| Scooby | – | 286 | https://soundcloud.com/scooby2003/f4w6yb |
| commundesmortels | 3 | 120 | https://soundcloud.com/commundesmortels/wait-142 |
| munxster | 1 | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rxvyjPqvl0E&list=LL&index=55 | |
| dontfollowprodigy | 63 | 227 | https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KmQvIbrutgY |
| stella s | 95 | 66 | https://soundcloud.com/user-44097062-701827579/mud |
| ton | – | 145 | https://soundcloud.com/tonnnnnn/when-u-know-u-know |
| you look amazing¨ | 84 | 237 | https://soundcloud.com/youlookamazing/save-points-in-manhattan |
kyra’s 15 cutest songs and mixes i listened to while doing my makeup for a party i was already 90 minutes late for (presented in a non-hierarchical wordcloud)
“i’ll be there soon i’m leaving in a few i just gotta put my shoes on”
(soundcloud playlist: https://soundcloud.com/cbd42o/sets/l-o-l?)
Shaad Magazine D’Souza’s top chillwave songs that he thinks of when listening to Addison by Addison Rae
If there’s one thing you should know about me it’s that I love chillwave, and I’ve ALWAYS loved chillwave. I was 10 or 11 during the epochal “summer of chillwave” of the late 2010s, which also coincided with me beginning to read music blogs like Stereogum, Pitchfork and Hipster Runoff. It was also the only period of my life in which I drank V, a delicious Australian energy drink. This gorgeous window of my life had such an impact that I’m still looking for chillwave in everything around me, and I finally found the true, pure essence of the genre in Addison, the first and last album by Addison Rae. One of the main reasons I love Addison is because on one level, she’s doing very specific ‘90s and ‘00s Madonna reference, and yet all the sounds are extremely chillwave-coded; it’s a little like I’ve fallen asleep with both Apple Music and Spotify playing, which I have been known to do. For listeners that may be slightly younger—but not necessarily less beautiful—than me, here’s a brief guide to What I’m Hearing in Addison.
“High Fashion” reminds me of… Mount Kimbie and King Krule’s “You Took Your Time” (2013)
Is this song chillwave? I’m sure I would have gotten hit at Union Pool circa 2013 for saying it was, despite the fact that I would have been only vaguely pubescent. Back in the day, we called this post-dubstep, or future bass—really makes you think—but its combination of ecstatic spaciousness and stagnant warmth feels like chillwave to me, a self-appointed connoisseur.
“Times Like These” reminds me of… Washed Out and Caroline Polachek’s “You and I” (2011)
I’ve never ever known what Ernest Greene is saying, but the melancholy, looping nature of “You and I” feels extremely of a piece with “Times Like These,” a ballad from Addison. As with much of the Addison album, it’s about a feeling more than anything literal.
“Summer Forever” reminds me of… “Heart: Release” by Neon Indian (2011)
It’s possible that I’ve never loved a song, and never will love a song, as much as I loved “Polish Girl” by Neon Indian. It’s a masterpiece, as is almost everything on Era Extrana. The beginning of “Heart: Release,” a slow-er jam from the end of the album, taps into the slutty, seamy, euphoric, blissed-out vibe of Addison’s centrepiece ballad.
“In The Rain” reminds me of… “Green Knight” by Memory Tapes (2009)
“Green Knight” is funkier than “In The Rain,” but only slightly, and aside from that, I feel like there’s actually a lot of similarities — the build, the gentle bongos, the intense sense of wistfulness.
“Fame Is A Gun” reminds me of… “Divina” by Toro Y Moi (2011)
This is a loose one, but bear with me for a second. When I bought this from Polyester Records as a young child, I was amazed by their Instagram post in which they said that you could play Underneath the Pine at pretty much any speed. “Divina” sounds like “Fame Is A Gun” slowed way down, kind of? There are plenty of other chillwave songs I could have chosen to associate
with Addison but both chillwave and Addison have an inherently open-source spirit, as we all should.
Gustavo Marinho’s best of Instagram Reels 2025
- AI BABY
- Mick Jack Reincarnate
- Mandem Identification
- Dugan
- AtAlien
- NBAYOUNGKirk
- u fucked up, buddy
- 10 on pump 12
- decent man walking
- OG BRAINROT
Honorable Mentions
- u just got pranked bruh
- imma need alladat
- Free Venezuela
- 3D Wrestling
- Avant-garde Day News Performance
- Second Chance
- 6-7
- Matey
- Officer chubalumpkin
- Rip unc craig (s/o Stacey P)
Dishonorable Mentions
Abe Beame’s definitive ranking of the best pieces he didn’t write (2025)
It was a bittersweet year here amidst the piles of dead canaries and terminal cases of black lung afflicting the God-fucked freelance diggers in the coal black depths of the internet’s culture content mine. 2025 required resilience for us all. But we chive on, in a never-ending quest to write for the dwindling number of good editors still interested in actually paying you to write about (or edit) cool shit.
If you’re new here, this is my Yom Kippur-like annual ritual in which I empty out my SENT box, tearing these morsels of bad stories to scatter on the pond of this list, to feed the No Bells reading ducks, relieving me of my dumb idea sins and ideally educating the reader on the many gruesome and heartbreaking ways a story can die in the womb. I consider this the smallest and least significant form of giving back, but it’s what I have.
10. The Long Springsteen Autumn Is Upon Us
It was a heady few months for The Boss, even for Springsteen skeptics such as myself, with the release of a long speculated quasi rap album that had the goods, a (as it turns out, awful) starry biopic that once had Oscar buzz (since thoroughly fizzled), and the long-awaited release of “Electric Nebraska.” I swore I smelled a trendpiece. The editor I liked for it either didn’t agree or missed the pitch email, and was proven correct when the film bricked.
9. Leonardo DiCaprio’s Dirtbag Hall of Fame
Thought this would be easy money. DiCaprio is arguably the last true movie star of his generation and an actor who has been committed, if not insistent on, marring his good looks with funny facial hair and a paunch and bad clothes consistently since his Teen Idol apex in the late ‘90s when he pulled off the twin feats of playing Jack Dawson and literally Romeo, spurring a sexual awakening that biochemically changed the young women and men of America and the world over. I suggested chronicling and analyzing this uglification of a Golden God through his 21st century filmography, and several editors I went back and forth with for months leading up to One Battle After Another liked it, but we could never get on the same page and at the last second the piece died on the vine.
8. Detroit Rising with Veeze and Cade Cunningham
Had what I thought could be a potential digital cover idea somewhere in the lead up to the 2025 NBA season. The Michigan native Veeze, who I’ve had the pleasure of profiling before, appeared to have another album on the way, that lined up perfectly with a scrappy Detroit squad I thought had the look of a team on the precipice of making a leap. I had envisioned a stunt story where you hang out at the photo shoot farming soundbites and write a jerk-off nothing puff piece about how cool it is having these two celebrities in a room together, but that makes a splash and goes crazy on socials. The problem is the timing had to be perfect and Veeze works on Veeze time, which is what makes him Veeze, and what makes him great, so we didn’t even get to the reachout to talent/pitch phase.
7. Jack Antonoff And Ethan Coen Are Wife Guys
Folks, we of course all remember the Honey Don’t Summer of 2025, right? The occasionally entertaining second Ethan Coen box office bomb in a proposed Lesbian Trilogy with his wife Tricia Cooke featured Margaret Qualley, married to the Jersey artist/producer/lightning rod Jack Antonoff, who produced a few songs for the soundtrack, including two songs he actually wrote with Ethan Coen. I re-watched every Coen Brothers movie this year and did a ton of research for a list, and something you find is every artist they’ve ever worked in any department has some insane story about how strange collaborating with them is, so I thought I could add to that legacy. The editor I pitched it to probably correctly guessed this film wouldn’t remain in the cultural conversation long enough for that piece to register and never hit me back.
6. The Sideways Trail Revisited
I rarely leave New York City, but when I do, I’ll occasionally attempt to sell an editor on a story I can use to help justify taking the vacation. I did not invent this idea. If you’ve been doing this long enough the “Freelancer Vacation Piece” is relatively easy to spot and every time I see one I get jealous, because editors can recognize it too and will generally tell you to go fuck yourself for the chutzpah unless they really love you. In the fall during harvest, I retraced the legendary trip Paul Giamatti and Thomas Haden Church go on in the deeply depressed middle-aged loser classic Sideways up the coast to Santa Ynez with a very professionally successful old Flatbush friend of mine who moved to LA a few years ago. I saw it as a The Trip style travelogue piece about the region’s food and wine mixed with a personal essay about old friends reconnecting and grappling with their different stations in life. The decent number of editors I pitched felt otherwise, and ultimately I was happy to not be burdened by taking copious notes rather than enjoying the break, drinking pinot and actually chilling. Still have “Freelancer Vacation Piece” on the bucket list though.
5. Atlanta’s New Dungeon Family
After profiling Ken Carson last year I was intrigued by his production team, this large international cabal of producers from wildly diverse genres and walks of life who combine to make the strangest, most progressive music in rap right now. I thought a procedural could be interesting, attempt to get in the room with as many of them as possible and trace the digital trail through emails and DMs as they trade stems and build Ken’s Tower of Babel beats together. I actually got an editor to agree, but almost immediately discovered what an impossible task I had proposed for myself, as all these guys are under different management, scattered to the four corners of the Earth and respond to media inquiries as frequently as Power Ball tickets hit.
4. The Onstage Evolution of Kendrick Lamar
I have rare and valuable life experience in that I’ve seen Kendrick onstage many times in his career, from his New York debut at SOBs for Section 80, through opening for Kanye post G.O.O.D. Kid, to headlining the DAMN tour. So I had an idea I could use this experience to go to The Grand National Tour when it came to MetLife and chart this live progression to his current unlikely status as a must-see blockbuster football stadium artist. The catch is I missed The Big Steppers Tour, and the editor I pitched this to months in advance kept harping on that. So I watched the entire tour movie Kendrick made on bootleg and wrote a spec section of the piece to prove to them I could still fit it comfortably in a narrative… and it still wasn’t enough to get them on board and I didn’t get to the show. I love this editor and love arguing with them and I hope they’re reading this so they can hear me say for a final time it was a dumb decision and would’ve been a good piece they should’ve greenlit.
3. How Much Is 70mm IMAX Actually Worth?
Genuinely never had an experience like this. In the wake of Sinners and the ever evolving awareness of format in film exhibition, I wanted to explore the challenges and costs in terms of time and dollars that comes with making a movie in 70mm IMAX and the ultimate dollar value this offers a film. Because at the moment there are only 11 theaters in the country that can screen in this format, how much revenue can one premium, sold out morning to night screen on the Upper West Side contribute to a film’s gross? With some effort I secured a greenlight. Now I’ve worked on stories like this before, and it seemed like a layup industry piece everyone had something to gain from, but I could not get traction. I did a little reporting with industry experts, but emails and calls to IMAX, AMC, and Regal HQs, as well as Coogler’s team and his cinematographer Autumn Durald, got responses but ultimately went nowhere. There were a million reasons to participate in the piece but I could not make it happen. Still don’t get it.
2. A Tour of Zombieland with Loe Shimmy
I love Loe Shimmy and his sad rockstar Future schtick that sounds like Rod Wave, Kodak, and Max B thrown in a blender. I had an idea to go down to where he’s from, Pompano Beach outside Miami, or “Zombie Land” as he refers to it, and get a guided tour courtesy of the artist himself. I got a greenlight, Shimmy’s team was into it and the label was going to cover travel (to be clear this would not be the aforementioned “Freelancer Vacation Piece,” this was leaving New York for Florida in summer) but when it came time to lock in the details, the outlet had made an editorial decision to pivot away from that entire style of “content.”
1. Assassinating My Opps With RXK Nephew
I personally think even this failure would’ve been worth a piece because it was an insane and hilarious process. Early this year the rapper/folk legend RXK Nephew tweeted that he would take commissions for diss songs, and I had an idea that in the lead up to the New York City mayoral primary, I’d have him make a song about Andrew Cuomo (my editor brilliantly countered we switch to a much funnier target, Eric Adams). I reached out to RXK and had several very funny conversations with him, agreeing to half the bread up front (you can see in the linked post the price he’d suggested was $350) to make the song for this national outlet to exclusively post, and half after. I sent him the $175 out of pocket, then he informed me that the price was a joke and it was actually $500 so I owed him another $75, but I had cleared the pitch with the $350 expense built in and at this point I was wary even that number would get the job done. I got on the phone and talked him down (I thought), explaining we agreed to the number and it was still a tremendous platform and opportunity, which he said was cool, and then I waited.
Several months later he released a diss of deplorable Pennsylvania Senator John Fetterman, made for the dirtbag leftist podcast Chap Trap House (that I am a longtime fan and listener of). I have a mutual friend with the podcast who I had told the idea to and who never hit me back when I asked if they had leaked to Chapo, so I assume that’s what happened, but frankly it’s on me for not being more proactive with Neph and leaking the concept before it came to fruition. When I called Neph he said he’d never heard of Fetterman or Chapo but they paid in full up front and if I paid him he’d make the song immediately, along with some genuinely admirable principled points about not giving a fuck about the outlet or the clout the opportunity may have come with. When I shared what happened with my editors they correctly ghosted me, so I was out $175 but I’ve taken far more expensive Ls.
I’m frankly just bummed I missed out on the moment and the chance to write what would have been a good story. Friends, the lesson here is the game frequently does not love you back.
Sheena Ganju and Jameson’s Orvis’ favorite bells
Recreational bell ringer Jameson Orvis and tech freak Sheena Ganju break the only rule of No Bells magazine.
- Hardest verse of “The Bells” by Edgar Allan Poe
Also relevant: a wonderful list of “Bells in Poetry” on the National Bell Festival website, https://www.bells.org/bells-poetry
Hear the tolling of the bells—
Iron bells!
What a world of solemn thought their monody compels!
In the silence of the night,
How we shiver with affright
At the melancholy menace of their tone!
For every sound that floats
From the rust within their throats
Is a groan.
- The bigger, the beller
In 2000, Pingdingshan China’s “The Bell of Good Luck” became the world’s heaviest functioning bell at 116 metric tons (255,736 lbs).
The world’s second biggest ringing bell, the Migun bell of Myanmar, pictured below in 1873, primarily held the “world’s biggest” title between 1850 and 2000.
- Top bell that Jameson has rung
The tenor bell in Trinity Church in New York features a description from Martin C. Faulkes which reads:
“THIS RING OF TWELVE BELLS
DONATED BY
DR MARTIN C. FAULKES
TO THANK MANHATTAN
FOR INTRODUCING HIM TO
CAPITALISM AND PHILANTHROPY”
Which is a very funny thing to engrave into a bell. Another reason why Martin C. Faulkes is remarkable is the fact he has a minor planet named after him which orbits somewhere in between Mars and Jupiter. I rarely ring the tenor but for such a whimsical description engraved upon it I will name this as my favorite bell.
My runner up is the 2nd bell, which is the bell with which I ring with the most technical skill. It has Simon J. L. Linford’s name engraved into it, who I respect and fear deeply because he is head editor of the Ringing World.
- The Brian Eno Windows 95 Startup Sound is one of the world’s most nostalgic and evocative chimes.
- Bells as a divine symbol
Some bells hit frequencies that call to a deep and primal part of the body. Bells are used as a symbol of assembly or purification in the rituals of nearly every major religion.
In Hinduism, bells (Ghanta) signify divinity, acting as an invitation to the gods, a signal to ward off evil, and a tool to focus the mind during worship, symbolizing the sacred sound of Om, awakening the soul, and marking transitions in rituals, according to Google AI.
- Jameson’s favorite sentence from Marguerite Young’s My Darling Miss Macintosh which mentions bells
“There were all kinds of sharp or dull pains going and coming in his capacious body which should have been undisturbed by unnecessary motions of disorientation or of orientation, and his was, he must sometimes admit to my mother when she accused him of an unbecoming and deceptive stupor, that dead ear which was filled with the undiminished memories of chaos, buzzings of the winter bees, iron bells ringing, foghorns, shatterings of glass, raucous noises as of crows discussing him, discords and tensions most dismaying to a man who loved, as he did, the eternal silence or the music of unknown Heaven, whichever it might be called and depending on one’s fortuitous point of view.” (p. 308)
Lei Takanashi / CrookNYC’s favorite graff flicks of 2025
One of the greatest things I enjoy about running is the opportunity to digest the city slower. So ever since I started running longer distances in NYC, I found that it nicely intersected with my lifelong love for taking graffiti flicks. Here are some of my favorite ones from running over 1,480 miles this year.
A great spot near the very end of the Manhattan Greenway that was absolutely smashed by REBOE and VOLVO. It’s hard to describe how crazy this spot is through photos but you can even see these throws when running across the George Washington Bridge. Besides that, anyone who climbs up the insane hills before hitting this footbridge will be relieved by just seeing this graffiti-covered exit.
An ANSO, INKI, and DEST truck parked near the Jerome Park Reservoir, a 2.5-mile loop near Bronx Science that was actually where I went on my very first run. I still love running the Res today and also love this flick because Tracey Towers is creeping in the back. I wonder if any rats can still find crumbs from the boxes of pizza COPE 2 ate underneath those towers back in the day.
On a work trip to London I decided to run seven miles by the Thames and was surprised to see that WOMBAT ICBM had an insane amount of ups out here. What’s even crazier is that they were running around the city with 10FOOT — who’s arguably the UK’s most notorious graffiti bomber. You seriously couldn’t walk two steps in this city without coming across a 10FOOT tag somewhere.
KEO X-MEN, aka the pen behind the cover of Operation Doomsday and other pieces of art by Daniel Dumile, making a rare appearance on some gates near Van Cortland Park — one of the best parks to run in NYC that stretches all the way to Yonkers. While I do see a lot of graffiti on my runs, finding something like this brings me to a full stop because shit’s like a shiny Pokémon. If any other graff heads find themselves running down this stretch of Broadway, always pay your respects to the legal TRACY 168 walls still running under the 1 Line in Kingsbridge — Broadway Pizza & Pasta especially!
My wife tipped me off about doing marathon pace runs on Roosevelt Island because it’s not as crowded as Central Park, has plenty of water fountains, and is essentially a 4-mile long track that you can constantly loop. There’s pretty much no graff here except for this one VFR outline that’s an absolute gem.
Homerun is the only run club I’ve ever truly participated in simply because of how much it personally aligns with my own interests in art, streetwear, and graffiti. When I pulled up to run a 5K that was tied to an exhibition of Odd Future photographs by Brick Stowell, I didn’t expect a crowd of runners to take over the Willy-B. Yet this run made for some of the toughest graffiti flicks I took this year.
A big part of training for the NYC marathon is constantly running across the Queensboro Bridge since it’s a significant part of the race. At some point, ZOOT and NOTICE hit the side of a 14-story hotel and secured one of the craziest rappel spots in NYC this year. It kept beckoning me from the pedestrian path and I eventually had to run down there to flick it from the ground up. Generally, running through the industrial parts of LIC makes for great graffiti finds — evident by this ill TOCER and ZAVER straight just steps away from where I took this flick.
Another piece of graffiti that constantly greeted me on my runs on the Manhattan-side of the Queensboro Bridge were these dumb clean fills by EOK and SKAM.
Easily one of the most beautiful bridges to run across in New York City is High Bridge — shouts out to A Boogie. This is the oldest bridge in NYC and it offers a spectacular view of the East River along with a peep at this heaven spot that ZOOT and NOTICE hit by Major Deegan.
Honestly, I don’t know exactly how I managed to take decent graff flicks while running the marathon itself. But I guess I’m used to it running and smashing an iPhone shutter year-round. I practiced the race route enough times to anticipate the best spots on the route. The one flick I had to get right were these clean TOCER and ZAVER hits on a roof in Brooklyn and I was dumb hyped about getting this shot on race day.
The top 10 things that annoyed Josh Svetz in 2025
As the great Frank Costanza once said: “I have a lot of problems with you people, and you’re going to hear about them!”
1. Scam Texts
These used to be a source of joy as I would create tall tales to mess with the scammer who claims they accidentally got my number from their assistant. But lately, the magic has worn off and these have become a nuisance. This isn’t Jenny, she died in a car crash.
2. Brands trying to be our friend
Sunny D doesn’t get depressed, Duolingo doesn’t hold a grudge, Moon Pie can’t be cheered up, Walmart isn’t listening to the new Taylor Swift album. You are not a person, stop trying to relate to me just so I buy a Big Mac.
3. Boomers in Movie Theaters
I went to see The Last Showgirl at an arthouse theater earlier this year. People in the back kept yelling at the screen, playing on their phones, disrupting the film. I became the old geezer, shushing them and eventually moving spots. When the credits rolled I turned around expecting to see rowdy teenagers, nope it’s the AARP senior breakfast special club in the back. COVID ruined our manners, shoutout to my Alamo Season Pass, and yes, if you disrupt my movie, I’m putting the card up and getting staff involved, the only time snitching is OK.
4. Movies Who Treat Their Audience Like Babies
Speaking of movies, why do so many treat their audience like we have the IQ of a peanut? I saw several R-rated films that spelled out every metaphor, character choice, and even had the characters explain the movie. You can check my Letterboxd for what those are, but let’s just say a certain Glen Powell film upset me no end.
5. AI Worship
Late-stage capitalism plunging people into so much debt they worship an inhuman cult. At least human cults have charisma.
6. Navy Yard, DC
A breeding ground for the young republicans of DC, characterless bars, and a lack of soul that makes Williamsburg look like the bastion of heart and culture in comparison.
7. Transplant DC Influencer culture
I’m a transplant, so let me be clear: I’m not saying people from the area or transplants who respect the culture can’t post about what makes DC great. But, the worst of the DC influencer boom makes these quippy, cringey videos steamrolling past the issues these bars and restaurants face, sounding tone deaf as they use the city’s culinary and nightlife scene’s plight for clout rather than raising money or trying to help. It’s just ad revenue in their pocket.
8. Instagram Becoming The New Business Card
We had a 5-minute conversation about Playboi Carti, I don’t want to follow you.
9. Gambling Becoming A Requirement To Watch Sports
I’ve been sports betting since I was 16, but it feels like you can’t watch a minute of football, basketball, baseball, rowing, without the TV begging you to use promo code: Addict to get a 50% profit boost on DraftKings.
10. Geese/Cameron Winter Hype
I got the MJ Lenderman thing (children whose dads love Neil Young) but this Cameron Winter/Geese hype? I’m sorry, I tried. His voice sounds like an accordion slowly breaking apart, a giraffe crying in pain, a dying goose. The songwriting is OK, I don’t see the brilliance. It’s shrouded by the tryhard bar band vocal aesthetics akin to Sombr. Glad people are having fun, I’ll sit this one out.
Bonus:
Kurtis Connor
This YouTuber isn’t problematic, controversial, or morally reprehensible, but he may be the least funny person whose whole thing is he’s supposed to be funny. Performative male, pandering, sure, these are true, but it’s his baffling lack of comedic timing and delivery that makes him grating.
Millan Verma’s top 3 unemployed splurges
My theory: the less money I have, the more I’ll make. So, during a few months of city hopping and lounging around, I said yes to buying and trying things more than I do when gainfully employed. I’m still waiting for the second half of my theory to come true, but here are my top splurges during this period.
- Grey wool suit – $616
My only suit was given to me by my father, who took advantage of K&G Superstore’s “3 for $99” special five years ago. It’s a black Sean John that fits well but is made out of carpet. I decided to buy a nice grey one to add. I still haven’t worn it, but it looks great hanging in the closet.
- Surfboard + wetsuit rental – $144
I’ve maintained this rule for nearly a decade: anytime I have a chance to surf, I must do it. I think it’s because I’m convinced surfing is one of the things that makes a person “feel alive.” As I relearn every time I try, it makes me feel more glad to be not dead than it does alive. My first time was in Santa Cruz with my cousin Arun; we watched “How to Surf” YouTube videos while sitting in traffic and were dumped onto the rocks and given evil eyes by locals the whole time; the next was in Wilmington, NC, the day before a hurricane. We were the only ones out there and didn’t know what “storm swells” implied. The only successful time was in Costa Rica, when a beer-bellied local who kept trying to sell me weed gave me 1on1 instructions. I caught 2 waves. It was an amazing feeling. When I was out in SF this past summer, my buddy had an idea that was unimpeachable on paper: let’s wake up at 6, go to Pacifica Beach at sunrise, drink some coffee, then surf. It was grey and windy, the water was freezing, and the waves were so big–or we were so unskilled–that getting out to a reasonable place to sit on the board was a 20 minute battle. After getting put in the washing machine a few times, I gave up. It’s time to accept I’m from a landlocked city.
- Shots of Tequila at Mahauffer’s – $61
At one of the most notorious dive bars in South Florida, the locals slapped their knees and gave us numerous “good luck!”s after I ordered shots of the well tequila for my friends and I. Readers, I’ve had many well shots in my life, but the burn had never been accented with ridicule. I was with real drinkers now, and felt the need to make up for it. After downing the first ones, I ordered a round of Herradura shots, and then a round of Casamigos. After those, I wasn’t capable of embarrassment anymore.
Five sporting events this year that immediately stuck out to Will Gendron, for better or worse
I watch a lot of sports. This is not a brag or something I’m proud of. When I look back on my life there is a non-zero chance that I will regret the time spent watching odious college football matchups (Tulane vs North Texas) or late-night, west coast NBA action (any contest involving the Kings entitles the viewer to monetary compensation) instead of improving my Spanish.
During the first half of 2025 my viewing habits spiked because of a job where the primary working hours were between 7 PM and 5 AM. It was the sort of work that I was able to do both stoned and with my attention diffused across multiple monitors. Those monitors would be displaying everything from the nightly NBA slate, to Thursday night NFL broadcasts, to UFC cards, to SEC college football, to college basketball out-of-conference play, to… you get the gist.
- March 23. 2025: Uconn vs Florida Sweet 16 NCAA Tournament
A. Dynasties — and yes the Uconn men’s basketball from 2023-2025 qualifies because back-to-back championships in the most fickle sporting competition outside of the World Cup is an every few-decades occurrence — don’t implode, they slowly crumble
B. Uconn’s 2025 team had shown cracks throughout the year, ebbing and flowing in a way the previous back-to-back title squads hadn’t. Losing consecutive games, lacking a true lead creator, and regressions to rim protection/depth…
C. But greatness is intoxicating. You want to believe what you’ve been witnessing will persist. Why shouldn’t it?
D. Walter Clatyon Jr is the answer. Off-balance, pull-up trey balls. Each one that gets hoisted and finds the bottom of the net is a shotgun blast to the chest. Sidestep dagger, while fading right with about a minute to play gives Florida a six-point lead they wouldn’t relinquish. I fell to my knees.
E. But I needed to feel this despair. It lets me know how miraculous the previous two years were. This is grindset fandom. - February 23, 2025: Uconn vs St Johns @ MSG
A. St Johns is coached by Rick Pitino, one of the most successful perverts in college basketball. He brings out the best of his players with a no-nonsense coaching style from a bygone era. The result? His teams play defense with an intensity that borders on suffocation, as exemplified by their full-court press.
B. Coming into this game a small part of me still felt the Huskies could make a tourney run. Watching in person emphasized how big the gap was between good team and true contender.
- NBA ECF NY Knicks vs IND Pacers GM 1
A. The Knicks should have won this game. But Aaron Nesmith, a small forward for the Pacers, decided to reveal to the world he was Jesus. Six obscene threes in the final five minutes.
B. In the future there will be insurance policies available for any kind of self-harm inflicted from the psychological torment of a random roleplayer hitting shots they’ve never hit in their life.
C. The Haliburton shot to send things to OT is the lasting image (and his on-court soyface, which Ock Sportello went long on) but every day I thank higher powers for not placing me on the receiving end of a Nesmith flamethrower.
- Dec 15, 2024: NFL Week 15 — Jets vs Jaguars
A. Nothing better than two dogshit teams playing each other at 1 PM with nothing at stake, besides the parlay and player prop economy.
B. Aaron Rodgers and Davante Adams used to be an electrifying QB/WR duo. Rodgers should no longer be playing NFL football. Seeing Adams click as the Rams red zone hog this year reminds me how much of a bummer the 2024/5 Jets were.
C. The silver lining? Rodgers feeding his former WR1 in the same way your homie will hook things up if you work at the same restaurant together. He knows you like Creme Brulee so every order that isn’t finished gets packaged and hidden in the back left corner of the employee fridge.
D. In the first half, Adams had no catches. My fantasy playoff hopes were tied to his performance, so in order to avoid an aneurysm, I decided to go for a run. When I got back he was closing in on 200 yards and two receiving touchdowns.
E. There is something so beautiful in sports about legends over the hill, turning back the clock for a vintage performance. To prove to themselves and the world what they once were and what they’re still capable of. Dipping back into that pool of greatness. And when it’s in a meaningless contest you know it’s solely about principle too. - Oct 5, 2025: NFL Week 5 — Emari Demarcado Drop
A. There is a form of crack in the U.S. that is not only legal, but its consumption is actively encouraged.
B. It is called NFL RedZone. RedZone was a market innovation that emerged out of the ‘08 recession in order to sedate the general public with an upper so powerful, any meaningful work towards a new socioeconomic paradigm would be rendered impotent.
C. So what is it? A simulcast of every Sunday afternoon game (can be 8-10 concurrently playing) where broadcasts are whipped around based on how close each team is to scoring, so in theory you only ever see the most exciting portions of each game. Or rather, the scoring opportunities, which of course have massive implications on fantasy football matchups and betting.
D. Broadcasts are cycled whenever a timeout takes place and when a team reaches the red zone, that game is prioritized and granted full-screen privilege. It is commercial-free football from 1 PM to 8 PM, something we were never supposed to experience
E. Consuming football via RedZone is not so dissimilar from the way everyone consumes basketball (1-3 min contextless player highlights) but it is jacked up to schizophrenic degrees, due to the volume/live nature of the operation.
F. There is no reason to watch RedZone unless you play fantasy football or gamble, which are the same thing
G. My fantasy football career began on GOAT trajectory. I won my league in my first year playing and got back to the chip in my second year. This is a pastime I assumed would be a lifelong endeavor.
H. But greatness is fleeting. I began this year’s season 3-0, fully expecting another deep playoff run. In week 5 — at which point I was 3-1 — some injuries forced me to become acquainted with a running back named Emari Demarcado.
I. This play happens. An otherwise boneheaded mistake that, sure, is frustrating for the player and his team, but not something that should shake the emotional tenor of anyone else’s life.
J. I would end up losing my fantasy matchup by a point. The Demarcado drop was a 12 pt swing. Frustration and anger remained in my system for a good 72 hours after the fact.
K. My emotional response to Emari Demarcado’s ball security (or lack thereof) bled into my interpersonal relationships. It was a realization that disturbed me. He, nor any other athlete, agreed to be part of a tertiary financial market under the guise of a “skill-based competition” imposed on the game they play.
L. This game gave me the lucidity to see fantasy football for what it is: a road to nowhere, not so dissimilar from a cocaine habit, but with less fun.
Mano’s Favorite Coffee Beans of 2025
For our anniversary this year, Megha got me an espresso machine. It was a thoughtful and very useful gift. I thought it would curb my coffee spending but turns out I just drink even more coffee now. Anyways, I’m afraid to report that I am becoming a burgeoning Coffee Guy. Making espresso is a delicious ritual and a hobby I’d recommend to anyone who’s even remotely interested. It’s one of those skills that hinges on a simple, elegant process but contains a seemingly infinite range of possibilities. All year long, I kept a daily log of every espresso shot I pulled. These are my favorite coffee beans I had this year along with the raw thoughts I scrawled in my notepad. I ground them up in a grinder and mostly made cappuccinos and lattes with them. The tasting notes usually came right after a sip of the espresso, seconds after it was brewed. Megha just got me a coffee roaster for Christmas…2026 looking like a movie.
6. Tandem Coffee Roasters West End Blues blend: Fruity and earthy.
5. Partners Coffee Roasters Manhattan blend: Really smooth and slightly tart.
4. Oslo Coffee Roasters Odin blend: Friend of the blog Milo recommended. Nutty and rich, my go-to right now.
3. La Colombe Nizza Medium Roast: Ol’ reliable. Delicious, not too sour or bitter. Gooey, creamy and sweet.
2. Factotum Clockwork blend: Creamy, big mouth feel. Wow.
1. My own beans (a Papa New Guinea dark roast): DAMN THAT’S GOOD. Rich, chocolatey, slightly herbal.
i live for these bro. love yall
Fuck yeah