The banality of Anderson .Paak

Protect Abe Beame at all costs.

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I am writing this because I decided I want to understand why exactly I hate the Oxnard-born singer/rapper Anderson .Paak, .Paak, born and referred to going forward as Brandon Anderson, is, on every level, an unobjectionable artist, and seemingly a nice guy. I’m quite sure he’s made music that has saved people from suicide, has given them hope in dark times, made a song that was the first dance at their daughter’s wedding, rescued their kitten from a tree, etc. 

I did a lot of research on background you won’t read here, but if you were lazy and wanted to just Google “Anderson .Paak Charity” I’m guessing you’d stumble across .Paak House, or The Brandon Anderson Foundation, a 501c3 non profit org that “aim(s) to support and create initiatives that uplift, engage and support the community through access to the arts, supplemental education and unique experiences to expand the imagination.”

So, a better person than I am, because if I was really rich, to be completely honest, I’d spend all my money on keeping my wine fridge fully stocked with incredible shit, eat at Keen’s once a week, go to every Knick game even if they’re on the road, go to the movies everyday, and generally live out the philosophy Orson Welles espouses in The Third Man. But good people don’t often–in fact, from my experience, rarely–make great music, and Brandon Anderson is no exception. For many people he’s a pleasant distraction. A warm and remote pleasure center, something to put on in the background while you’re reheating leftovers. It’s vacuuming the rug music that doesn’t fuck. So why do I find it so reprehensible? Perhaps it’s in that very lack of commitment on the part of the listener interacting with his work. Brandon Anderson is the “Everything was Beautiful and Nothing Hurt” tattooed in script on America’s collarbone. Allow me to expand. 

When I went to college in the early aughts, we had this singer songwriter named Jack Johnson. He grew up in Hawaii. His dad was a surfer. Again, I did an incredible amount of background on this that didn’t survive a harsh edit, but let’s just say you lazily clicked on his Wikipedia page and skimmed the first sentence, you’d learn he is a multi-instrumentalist, actor, record producer, documentary filmmaker and is also a former professional surfer. All of this shit sounds cool, and my wife, the mother of my children, would certainly leave me in a heartbeat to make out with Jack Johnson once, but I can also tell you with 100% certainty, because I was there, that Jack Johnson’s music was not cool.

He made rote and hollow strummy campfire music about enjoying your life and being in love. Much like Brandon Anderson, it would be very difficult for anyone to say what Jack Johnson, or his music, ever did to them. Yet he was roundly hated. He was reviled by a certain strata of culture I was aspiring to be a part of, cool people. And now looking back, this exercise is forcing me to ask myself why Jack Johnson bothered us so much. I think we hated the lie of endless chill in his music as Iraq burned and George W. Bush won reelection based solely off campaigning with hate speech against Gay Marriage. Andy Samberg once built an entire sketch around Jack Johnson and what he represented, and it’s typically broad and pretty stoned in a dumb way, but it does a decent job impressionistically grabbing what I’m finding is just beyond my grasp. 

In 1999, Naomi Klein released her seminal No Logo, a liberal campus classic about the insidious subliminal messaging in advertising and how it’s rotting our brains with implied messages of white cis hegemony. When subsequently asked how she felt about the book’s message, as representation in advertising evolved over the years, Klein effectively said representation wasn’t the enemy, it was the capitalist beast itself, a chameleonic chimera that can graft any race, nationality or sexual orientation on its white source material, and in fact only grows stronger and more dangerous when it assumes Black and queer forms. It’s a kind of box-checking and reach-expanding that obfuscates how dangerous and at its core oppressive these corporations and the structures they represent are. And this is Anderson. He’s the “McDonald’s commercial where a friend group composed of one token member of every minority and sexual orientation sits at a banquette together smiling and laughing over soft drinks and Big Macs as Travis Scott raps family friendly jingles over sterile 808s” version of Jack Johnson.

Let’s start with Anderson’s calling card, his marmalade and butter voice, that helium huffed, frog throated, nasal register rap-singing towards Bethlehem. The accent is quasi-Southern by way of Cali and sounds more the product of apathy than geography, the affected cool of a guy who can’t be bothered to enunciate, whose tongue is too big for his mouth and keeps a toothpick in for affect.

He’s made four solo projects, with two collaborative albums (NxWorries, his group with Knxwledge, and Silk Sonic, which I assure you, we’re getting to). If you wanted to be technical, you could call his oeuvre post Drake and Frank Ocean sing rapping that puts P-Funk by way of G-Funk through a cotton candy machine, like Kenan Thompson doing an impression of Eddie Murphy doing an impression of Bill Cosby. You could call it Neo-Soul off a THC vape and three mango White Claws. Or music for people who wish Post Malone would chill the fuck out. But I’ve come to refer to it simply as “Next time on Insecure” music. 

It’s an emergent style that has evolved into its own genre that defines a certain quadrant of the current Southern California sound. Synthy shimmering dogshit in which the greatest source of “urgency” is what will become of this evening’s low stakes hook-up, or whether or not to cheat on the person or likely people you’re presumably already in an open and poly relationship with. When you listen to it, you can see a guy wearing one of Those Hats, washing down bites of red velvet waffles with a passion fruit mimosa at the Rocafella Brunch.

In Game of Thrones, the Night King, a kind of Zombie deity, touches you and your eyes turn fluorescent blue and you’re transformed into a zombie, and over the past five years, that’s been Anderson. Seemingly anyone who has come into the orbit of the artist formerly known as Breezy Lovejoy could be diametrically opposed to his style. Let’s hypothetically and with no real world corollary imagine a blog era, white, Rawkus-adjacent mixtape guy from Pittsburgh, and after sharing a joint or something one time with Anderson, this completely imaginary rapper whose memory I’d never disparage would be instantly transformed into an artist making braying fentanyl carols about smoking gelato packs on a beach in Santa Monica, capped by epic and actually really meaningful one hitter and Xbox sessions in his villa with seemingly every working rap journalist in the 2010s and Karl Anthony Towns. 

Anderson is all vibes, and they’re all chill. He makes completely and totally unobjectionable music. He has no controversial opinions. He’s the 17-story-tall Stay Puft marshmallow man of pop culture, dripping saccharine streamable content goo to shmear on our increasingly graham cracker and Hershey’s chocolate layered palettes. He’s an honorary Black Eyed Pea.

The album, an increasingly antiquated and abstract concept, has been losing ground to the Spotify playlist for sometime. Anderson’s music anticipates and perhaps even defines this shift. He offers the listener the chance to take a break from their go to lo-fi beats station they write papers to in the throes of an Adderall fueled all nighter. His albums place you in the hands of a relaxed fit dude who wants to offer the same, low commitment, indistinguishable background music you can comfortably tune out, without the pesky algorithm making the occasional misstep in selection, breaking the trance long enough to force toggling through an app to hit skip. Anderson has built a large back catalogue over years of work that constitutes hours of music that all sounds the same and doesn’t threaten any break in tone to harsh your mellow.

“But Abe”, you may say. “You’ve fallen prey to the classic lazy music writer’s trap. Beneath his, let’s say, unique sonic palette, there’s some real bars, some real emotion, a life of trials and tribulations, and some real political messages, sprinkled in with the swipe right Metro PCS commercial shit.” So just to show you I actually listened to every single album and collaboration this asshole made, and didn’t just try to come up with the funniest possible ways to say he’s boring and lame, let’s discuss “6 Summers”, about as trenchant as Anderson’s political commentary gets, off 2018’s Oxnard

The central conceit of the song is imagining what then President Donald J. Trump’s alleged love child is like. Anderson hopes the child is multi racial, hopes they are bisexual, and hopes they drink mezcal. It’s the perfect articulation of Trevor Noah level critique, a raised eyebrow and a hope for an ironic future in which the next generation frolics in a racially ambiguouity and sexually exprimentation, without actually challenging or critiquing power in any meaningful way. The rest of the song is kind of nonsensical vibey bullshit. He blasphemes with an M.O.P. reference that makes no sense and serves no purpose, there’s a lot of fun being had, for some reason. I listened to the song four or five times to write this graf and the next one and every single time I slipped into a low grade coma, so I can’t speak on it with too much authority.

But, you know, it is evocative. You can almost see Trump’s love child, the product of that McDonald’s table of every minority group on Earth fucking and creating a beautiful ethnically ambiguous woman in a halter top, with John Lennon glasses, holding peace signs in the air on her tallest friend’s shoulders, blocking everyone else’s view of Silk Sonic playing Coachella. 

It was inevitable that Anderson would find Bruno Mars, a guy who has made a career of cutting up pieces of existing good songs and taping them together like pop ransom notes. Who makes Girl Talk songs with session musicians playing the mashed up snippets. Is he postmodern? Sure. But not in a way that even aspires to recontextualize or comments on, let alone subverts, a single thing. It’s a repackaging, a depressingly cynical Trader Joe’s vision of post modernism that coats original ideas and styles in vanilla yogurt and middle mans the fuck out of it. 

Silk Sonic is the perfect avatar for this era of Intellectual Property dominant content. They don’t even take an existing lens and challenge you with a Last Jedi. This is an exercise in pure pleasure center mashing, a whip pan to the Millennium Falcon as the adoring Christmas Day crowd in Union Square smacks their flippers together because they see something familiar over and over again. 

Silk Sonic poses the question, “What if we made an entire group, album and aesthetic out of the song and video for “Doggy Dogg World”? Which was itself a winking amalgam of Soul Train and Blaxploitation aesthetic, and Snoop actually got the Dramatics on the hook, and it was good and cool and nearly 30 years older than this Prom cover band manufacturing plant based Potlikker soul in a laboratory. 

And so history ends not with a bang, but a tedious, gooey book report. A Childish Gambino, J. Cole and Mark Ronson group project to make music that comes not from the chest, or gut, but from a Pinterest board, and not for the streets, or the club, or the bedroom, but for Carroll Gardens dinner parties where you “eat” the simulation of a delicious ribeye you’re enjoying in your mind as your physical body is elsewhere, suspended by wires and tubes, being juiced like a lithium ion.

Most of the people who will give this a skim follow me on Twitter, and there aren’t many of you, but let’s say this did go wide, like some of the criticism of Silk Sonic has. It would be rejected, and lambasted for its cruelty. “Who knows what mental issues Silk Sonic fans are dealing with? How dare you go after Bruno Mars after what he’s done for Filipino representation! You Just Don’t Get His Music Because You’re Wyt (Jewish, but I’ll concede the point for the sake of expediency)!” 

And this is what really sucks about where we’ve gone. That we’re just allowing this bullshit to go unchecked because now it’s totally fine if the emperor is naked because it isn’t “hurting” anyone. But we used to demand more from our pop. We used to at least be able to criticize muzak, not just when the muzak in question is “caught” smoking a blunt with DaBaby and Marilyn Manson, but when it was actually bad. But now we have to love it. We can’t even make fun of Jack Johnson or Jack Johnson bros anymore.

Anderson .Paak suggests the future, our welcome and willing escape from our grim present to the 84 degree, clear skied, breezy Malibu beach day that never ends. The low body high of opiates, edibles and Casamigos spiked organic nutcrackers that starts as pleasant, monotonous background hum, then builds exponentially until it has achieved a deafening paralysis that leaves us all numb and twitching in the warm sand, as the sun dries out our baking, gently cracking faces and we can no longer feel the rising blood tide soaking the bottom of our towels. And the entire world is emptied of tension and meaning, and replaced with the blissed out, carceral, eternal vibes state.

59 thoughts on “The banality of Anderson .Paak”

  1. man, the article is on-point but implying Mac Miller and “fentanyl carols” when an accidental fentanyl overdose killed Miller is a bit out of bounds, don’t you think?

  2. I like the album… sometime I want to watch Schindler’s list, other times shoot em up.. not all music has to be Deep. This article makes me feel sad for the author. I’ve never seen so much anger for “nice” music

  3. This ought to be titled ‘The banality of music writers’ Talentless critics with too much time on their hands and no better way to spend it besides criticizing people who do things you can’t do

    • There’s NO part of him being right in this useless waste of writing. Just using a bunch of words to make it sound like he really knows what he’s talking about. 🙄 And if you agree with that then you need to chill too. This world is in a sad state. Music is in a sad state. Love that Anderson and Bruno are making people remember what fun and happiness used to be and sound like in their music. Silk Sonic is just what was needed. And it’s hilarious anyone takes this article serious.

      • “There’s NO part of him being right in this wonderful piece of writing.” – FALSE.
        the whole thing is indeed accurate.

        “Just using a bunch of words to make it sound like he really knows what he’s talking about. 🙄” FALSE
        This is the catch phrase of those who have no talent and poor language retention.

        “This world is in a sad state. ” Because of democrat terrorists like the people TardPakk support

        “Music is in a sad state” yes because of people like you who have no talent and so no taste, and people like bruno mars and anderson paak who again,
        have no talent and so no taste.

        “Silk Sonic is just what was needed.” silk sonic is trash


        “And it’s hilarious anyone takes this article serious.” FALSE

        its actually not hilarious and youre a fucking moron and thats sad.

        • really interesting article. to be honest, however, your fluffy and colorful prose, while rich and entertaining, gave me a headache. it’s funny and fun, but, in my opinion, it obfuscates what you’re saying to something that’s not very understandable but also very very specific at the same time. to me it’s a great way of making many points without actually saying many things that are substantive. like all i read was you making very broad, ridiculous analogies and cherry-picking one song to prove your point. your writing has a ton of potential. it’s very bouncy and a unique style. i think if you were to refine it, rather than throw word spaghetti at a wall just to see which stuff is cooked enough to stick, your work would vastly improve. thanks for the read tho; it was fun.

        • 👆🏾 I👆🏾👆🏾👆🏾 get him so pussy too , u can always spot the 20-30something virgins by the dissertations they type on blogs and the exceedingly high level of outrage they display … ONLINE 😩😂😂😂😂😂

    • It was trash. His opinion he’s entitled to but that was pure trash and he writes like he has a personal vendetta against Anderson and clearly has a problem with Bruno Mars as well. If you can’t just chill and enjoy something meant to make us happy and smile and dance then it speaks volumes of your character. Smh

      • you are writing like you have a personal vendetta against the writer.
        every thing he said was totally accurate. did you even read the whole thing?
        you seem dumb.
        “If you can’t just chill and enjoy something meant to make us happy and smile and dance then it speaks volumes of your character. Smh”
        i could say the same to you about the article.
        why dont you just enjoy the article then? you fucking moron? LOLOL WTF HAHAHAHA what in the fuck
        youre fucking retarded im sorry lol

  4. I completely disagree with your opinion, not to mention your argument is missing a critique about the musical composition, and production.

    To me, paak’s and bruno’s music are some of the tightest music production you can find, which is, for me, important at least as the lyrics.

    However, you write well and I respect your opinion.✌

    BTW sonetimes it is okay to chill. I guess it’s not your cup of tea. 🤷‍♂️

    • Totally agree! And what he doesn’t know is Bruno made certain to have the originators guide them.on the sounds of Philly Soul on the album. They wanted to recreate that feeling of what groups like that did for the world and their music using live instruments. It’s important for people to see we need musicianship in music again. Most artists today DON’T play any instruments. Anderson and Bruno are both musicians. The musicality of this album is everything. There’s always someone who wants to set the world on fire the wrong way. Smh

    • dude youre full of shit…..

      “To me, paak’s and bruno’s music are some of the tightest music production you can find,”
      BULLLL fucking SHIT dude WHAt the fuck lolololol
      bruno mars??????? r u joking?

      youre fucking joking right?

      do you even make music???? LOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOLOL

  5. I found your take entertaining. I can’t say I’ve listened to all of his music, but much of it, I enjoyed. I don’t take your commentary as an assault on my appreciation for music, or even Anderson’s character, but more a critique of the power and influence of music, and the failure of many artists, to wield that power in the name of…. Something you think they should? (I haven’t read enough of your writing to know where you stand on the responsibility musicians have to it.)

    You seem to lament the direction that artist like Anderson might take us- that he is a symptom of a much broader problem that many fail to recognize because they’re perpetually lulled into a state of unconcern. But the most concerned of us, I would think, are actually doing something about it. It’s probably true, but really, what would you rather he be? Shift manager at Albertsons? Cancer researcher? Ascetic monk in Tibet? Then who would you critique? Oh, wait, there’s always Ye.

    The fact that you put so much time and thought into this critique is evidence that you are even less concerned than he is about things that actually matter. It’s ironic. Like crying for mom to change the radio station, only to realize decades later that those songs kept your family together- kept FAMILIES together! It made people happy when they may not have had a reason to be otherwise…

    And here you are, venting to anyone who will listen, about the soma that music has become, the drug that takes everyone on holiday, as if you can’t wait to flee into some brave new world, to live off the earth with the brown people… No, no… I’m reaching.

    George Carlin said that he’s just watching the freak show. But I’m sure he’d have some things to say about where journalism has gone, if he were still kicking. I know if I had my choice, I’d rather die laughing than sobbing, or screaming in desperation, or murmuring the litany against fear. So bring on the nitrous. Or whatever that stuff was the joker fell into. I’m a freak, Anderson’s a freak and so are you. And you know what? I think you’re just good enough to write paycopy. Only just. So I’ll check out more of your writing and maybe continue this one-sided conversation on some other thread.

    • bruh back again to say this is an amazing take—i feel that especially this decade’s culture is shifting to a “talk less, but act more” attitude! there were some landmark introspective, deeply political albums in the ‘10s but i feel that we’ve realized they didn’t amount to much legitimate change LMAO, with the world more chaotic now than ever

      deep albums are great and spark discussion, but if we can’t have fun as well, it’s kinda like “clicktivism” where we all nod in agreement to a message but never do anything IRL!

      i’d rather have my shuffle rotation be “chill beats to start a revolution/protest to” to keep me going in the real world😂😂…rather than slow stripped back experinental music that gets me stuck in a rut.

      some “background” music does deserve crticism, like the terrible “Spotify pop” that combines the worst of these two worlds—slow music and shallow lyrics.

      but even something like lo-fi hip hop has incredible strength in some of its ideas. it’s exposed most of my generation to complicated jazz progressions and solos for four years straight of high school studying!!

      • also, to the author, as a cali native i can say that we are def NOT “chilled out” in 2021.

        the “cali is a bubble” meme, tbh, was accurate for a pretty long time. but COVID and all the social movements last year have managed to get us more active…

        actually a big fan of how my generation is turning out so far! and it isn’t enough to just say i “hope” things will turn out better this decade… the vibe around here is we need to commit to it ourselves. and i’m really happy about that.

      • for the record, i agree with the author’s stance against capitalism and shit like NFTs. hate it all. but let’s go and actually do something about it. and why not vibe to some Paak while we’re at it 😎

  6. Well when your on every talk show or music awards show. Or get the attention and sell the record’s he and Bruno have maybe you will chill a tad your self.
    Maybe…It’s music man. And with the world the way it is now you should feel very lucky and blessed we have the choice to listen to and create what we want. Do you even know him?? You need to seek help for this anger issue you seem to have. It’s Music if you do not want to listen. Don’t. But please don’t krap on my right of enjoyment!!
    Good Grief….

  7. That’s a lot of words just to say you don’t enjoy his music. Very boring read. Used five words when one or two would do. You also just sound like a jackass.

  8. People like you write a so called piece like this to get a bunch of drama started. There’s nothing wrong with Anderson Paak and definitely nothing wrong with Bruno Mars music. It really irks me you have such audacity to so called drag either of these musicians. Free speech right? Yeah but your opinion is one sided and totally objectionable. Silk Sonic is bringing to light the state of the music industry is in now concerning R/B music especially. It’s fallen prey to on being known as having Trap beats, same ol sing songy wishy washy lyrics that make you more bop than dance. Silk Sonic is a breath of fresh air. Anderson Paak is masterful on the drums part of it. Bruno Mars vocals are beyond amazing. And you want to be so critical but at least Anderson plays a real instrument. He brings what he was reared on into his music as Bruno Mars does. NOBODY is trying to reinvent what’s already been done. All of the greatest have already given us that. So all any artists today can do is take what there already is and interpret and recreate it in their own manner. Silk Sonic harkens back to the past of when groups existed, with harmony, and choreography, showmanship,.happier times in music that made you dance and laugh. So you can take this opinion of yours and redirect it to the artists who contribute nothing to it, and instead follow the fad’s of what’s “popular”. The majority LOVE the album! And it’s ALL races not only black people. Showing.and proving what music should do. Unite us all!!!

  9. You sir, must be a miserable person to have hate in your heart. That’s if you even have a heart. You’re entitled to your opinion, but it sucks! You need some serious therapy!

  10. Abe you’re so full of shit. Go get a real and stop wasting your life talking trash about people who are have more talent in their feces than you have in your whole body.

  11. What Anderson lacks in lyrical depth, he gives us in playfulness + sense of humor. And when it comes to his musical creativity/ingenuity + production sensibility — my cup runneth over. Malibu blew me away. Ventura was a breath of fresh air. Can you seriously listen to a track like “winners circle” and think he has nothing musically to offer? He’s just so versatile and never seems to run out of creativity. Gotta respect the career he’s made for himself. I’ve heard he’s an incredible performer live. Gotta love his positive, upbeat personality and sense of humor. Also, love that he used to be a “fat kid,” and now he’s making it big time with Bruno Mars! He also seems like a great Dad and husband. And that smile! Best teef in da game! Bottoms line: He’s damn near impossible to dislike.

    If Anderson Paak suddenly turned hyper-political and serious, it would probably ruin his music, honestly. Some artists were born to make us think and challenge the status quo. Some artists were born to entertain and put a smile on our face. Anderson is the latter.

  12. I burst into laughter as soon as I saw this. I love Anderson Paak. But I share almost identical feelings about that other big head loudmouth what’s his name? Aaaah. Bruno Mars. I dunno what happened. I used to love him. But 🤢

  13. Waste of a read.
    Learn how to play music and you’ll see how difficult it is to get to even the level of people echelons below anderson paak. You’re a hater who isn’t self aware yet.

  14. This dude gets no bitches lmaooo

    Trust me there are hundreds of artists who better fit your description and Anderson paak is not one of them

  15. Great read. Enjoyed it so much. I loved Malibu and Yes Lawd! but I’ve grown so bored of everything he’s put out since. This really helped put those thoughts into words with a tad bit more anger than I’d use (not a bad thing though!)

  16. Love all the comments that assume since you don’t like what they like, and then expressed your feelings in writing, that you must be a miserable hate filled bastard. This is Grade-A music criticism, and touches into a problem I have with all music being made that “just for the vibes” background music. Its all such flavorless mush.

  17. ppl say the words sound pretentious but in reality
    this is the most synesthesia-ass article ive ever read LMFAO

    (and thats saying something because i got here through binging digi/glitch/grind/breakcore artists and cover art…)

    but as a fellow synesthete like

    this shit slaps

    learn to love all the energy and vibes.

    the strongest, most overwhelming feelings in songs out there are mostly from ppl like us, just trying to concentrate layers upon layers of intense determination, energy, and passion into the piercing echoes of the warped, fallen shadows of chaos and eternal crystaline shards cut from pure FEELING.

    i learned to embrace it all, and i am feeling more inspired than ever

    …i swear i’m not high this is just something synesthetes think about sometimes… now i need to get back to my schoolwork lmao 🙂

    • like for me, Anderson was always my jam, but you know those songs that don’t just sound but SMELL like 2013? i mean, tbh i “hate” that shit…the burnt orange of a faded instagram photo of a river in oregon while two hipster teens with manic pixie dream girl hair, beanies, galaxy painted nails, and red checkered flannel sing sad indie songs to each other about nordic wanderlust in hushed voices by the campfire under string lights type shit?

      but i mean… that’s something i’ve already heard many times, and it creates a feeling STRONG as fuck. do i really “not vibe” w it? i mean i may have strong opinions on what’s related to it…but…couldn’t i just take in everything as the energy it’s meant to be?

      in the end everything you mentioned amounts to abstract, indescribable feelings of motion and energy.

      and thats synesthesia af.


      we all legit are just tryna VIBE

      if anyone finds this shitty comment chain and actually gets something out of it, i just wanna say

      im out there too.

      it’s time to come together.

  18. I’d be curious to hear what artists this critic actually likes. It definitely seems like he has some irrational personal vendetta against Anderson .paak. I don’t necessarily like him either, but he’s obviously talented and he’s popular for a reason.

    The critic’s writing style also annoys the hell out of me. I kept reading to try to see if there was some substantive criticism hidden in the obnoxiously verbose language, but I never found it. I read the entire article, and I am still not sure why he hates Anderson, beyond the idea that his music is not meaningful enough for some arbitrary standard of depth, and is too “feel good” for this miserable critic. Not all music has to be some deep sociological or political commentary to be good.

    Seriously, though. What artists does this critic think are good? He mentions Childish Gambino and J. Cole in a negative light, and both are phenomenal at what they do. I get that it’s “cool” to hate on popular stuff, especially as a music critic, but there is plenty of actually bad music on the radio to hate on rather than attacking the legitimately good artists without legitimate reasons.

  19. You’re genuinely obnoxious. Your adderall-soaked voice is so adolescent and ineffectual that it is imperative we withhold any criticism you can leech benefit from.
    Also, you are musically r’d.


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